I will be in love with my cat, broke, in a workplace that should be safe for the next two years, but it's really constantly on the verge of bankrupt, with a messy house and a father starting to show his age, and I am happy.

It may be the three coffees that I had today, or simply the fact that I feel loved, but I am happy. The problems will get ( Read more... )

 Yay! I finally can write again on DW. Writing on lj hasn't got the same meaning for me. With DW I feel more sure, more at home.

Tonight I meet my new love. His name is Bruno,has a soft black fur and he's a kitten. After resisting that long without a cat, loneliness had the better of me and when a friend offered, I said yes.

The best thing is that ( Read more... )

Last week I had a bout of gastroenteritis that left me shattered. Add the fact that working too much is leaving me open to anger attacks and paranoia, things are not going all that good. Luckily tomorrow I am off and I am going to visit my auntie, so I know if I am going away or not. If not I am going to pick up my cat early so he get used to my ( Read more... )

I had set up an afternoon ice cream date in the early afternoon. He insisted that I go to his place or mine so we could "talk privately" He said that it was his way or nothing I told him that it meant that nothing was going to happen. Another chapter closed in my life ( Read more... )

... but dreamwidth doesn't let me post, so now I have to post directly on lj. What has happened this month? My doctor has put me on an antidepressant that (finally) works for me, so I am in a decent mood ( Read more... )

 I didn't go. Call me a coward, but I don't like the idea of going out, even for an ice cream with somebody who calls me his mistress and tells me about the growing strenght of his feelings (when he has just seen me at work a few minutes while he bets.). I replied to his latest telling him that I ain't nobody's mistress and that all he'll have from ( Read more... )

 Another date, with somebody who talks about my "sex appeal" I tried to make him understand that I am not interested in nothing more than an ice cream (that I am not going to eat, because I gave up sweets for lent and I don't want to give up just when the end line is in sight. This morning I bought an Easter Cake to be my dinner for Easter Sunday) ( Read more... )

 To keep up positivity is hard, especially when you are used to be negative and you are at peace only when you are alone and the world cannot touch you., As soon as you have to go out in the world, the world catches up with you.

I am happy and balanced only when I am alone. as I am discovering it these last few weeks, where I work sat, sun, mon and ( Read more... )

 On Sunday I was reading one of those self help blogs. It was talking about acceptance: acceptance of life and of where it puts us, and acceptance of ouselves.

I said: I will never be able to do it.

This morning I woke up with a feeling of peace and contentment, of acceptance. Yes I have bipolar disorder, but it doesn't mean it has to stop me. Yes I ( Read more... )

 I was trying to sleep last night, after a nightmare of a day and I remembered suddenly that I was able to write funny stories. Funny/sexy stories

I am gonna try to find that inspiration back. It's all part of that spiritual growth thing I have going, to take me away from my obssession.

I had some funny stuff (at least what i find funny) that had ( Read more... )